I was forced to go to the maul today to shop for a bathing suit. I shop online before going to a store (does anyone else do that?) and so thought I found the perfect suit on oldnavy.com. It was a one piece halterneck that looked like it would hold in splooge and prevent the dreaded muffin top I was sure to get by wearing a tankini!
I ran into (ok, semi arranged to stalk) Teresa at the mall and as we passed by Steve and Barry’s, I saw a huge poster for SJP’s new clothing line. We went in to check it out and I have three things to say: cute, cute, cute! Most of the clothing was stuff that actual adults could wear and there were even pieces that wouldn’t just look good on skinny chicks! My favorite items were an adorable green tee with shoulder detailing for 8 bucks and a nautical inspired bag with rope handles and tons of cargo pockets. I left the shirt (I’m trying to do the dress thing only this summer) and took the bag. For $10, I couldn’t leave it as cargo pocket canvas bags are pretty much my favorite style. Like my salsa said, I’m going to try not to think about the sweatshop factor, and enjoy my new purchase. 
Next, it was off to Old Navy where the one pieces were slim pickins’. I picked up one of the last two black halternecks and made some snarky comment about all the metallic gold ones hanging on the rack. I tried convincing Teresa that even though she wore the look in 1995 just like I did, she could definitely still rock a babydoll dress…and even wear leggings (she hates leggings) with it! That was a no go, so I took me and my pouty self to the dressing room. I tried on the suit and then stifled a scream when I saw myself in it! For one thing, the cleavage factor was ridiculous! I mean, chances are, if a woman wears a size large, teeny tiny cups are not gonna cut it and neither is the shoelace posing as neckstrap. The back was also odd, the elastic wasn’t wide enough to hold it up. Funny the things one starts to notice when one sews!
If it was up to my daughter, I would’ve come home with a bikini (bless her sparkly little heart, she thinks her mommy can wear a bikini!), but unfortunately, they don’t come is size post partum two and a half years later with a touch of cellulite.
Reesie suggested we go to Sears and check out the Land’s End selection. I protested at first saying that the suits there would be too frumpy mom (as if I’m not one!) but we were only a few steps away, so what the heck. So, we went in and asked at the counter. No more Land’s End at Sears! Wow, is this how infrequently I shop? Whole sections of stores dissappear…and I don’t know about it? I’m kind of proud of that then, truth be told. The cashier did tell us that they had bathing suits in the junior’s department though. Hah, maybe she thought I was shopping for my kid…sister (I hope), but I haven’t fit anything in the junior’s department since I was a junior, lol.