School started yesterday and I managed to get Girlie’s 5,000 pencils sharpened in time.
Please stop sending home surprise projects for us to do. I absolutely hate that. Wonderful 3rd grade teacher, why did you send home a tie dyed shirt that hasn’t been set yet? Having dyed things myself in the past, I know what a total pita it is to finish up the process. That’s probably why you sent it home with the kids! Curses! It’s been two weeks, and the shirt is still sitting in the bag it came in, waiting to be completed. Meanwhile, I look like a horrible mother when my kid is the only one (or so he says) that doesn’t show up in tie dye for Tie Dye Thursdays. Dammit.
Regards,
Mom Barely Hanging In There
Parent/Teacher conferences were last night. Ruby is having some trouble with her letter spacing, so her teacher suggested an activity that she could do at home. She was giving us some related materials and before she handed them to me, she asked if Ruby had any books to read at home. W.T.F does that mean? I was so stunned, it didn’t even occur to me at the time to ask her what she meant. It could’ve been an innocent question: there is a reading log for pizza points program which we don’t participate in b/c I think it’s ridiculous to reward children for something as simple as reading…and with food no less. Can we say “future food issues”? So, maybe she thought we didn’t participate b/c we have no books (but damn, the public library is two blocks from the school!) But it could’ve also been a race related question.
Yes, I always have to take it there. I’m a black woman, and that’s how it goes. The school my children now attend is less diverse in every way than their last one. It’s one of the best rated schools in a well rated district. At our last school, I would make small gifts for the holidays and special days for their teachers b/c I wanted to. At the new school, I got a letter informing me of the teacher’s birth date and her likes (which included Nordstrom) and dislikes. I was also asked in the letter if I’d like to contribute to a Nordstrom’s gift card for the teacher. Um, no, but if Ruby wants, she can make a card! Maybe I should send a letter with my likes and dislikes to the room moms…hey, I like Nordie’s, too!
At our last school, we saw faces of all colors and had families from different socio-economic backgrounds. At our current school, the parking lot is filled with luxury cars and the occassional brown face peeks out in the halls among a sea of white ones. I know there are plenty of parents who would love for their children to attend such a “good” school, but that doesn’t make it perfect. The classes are large IMO, which means children like Ruby (who is quite meek in public) tend to not get noticed as much. A classmate bothered her for some time without the teacher noticing Ruby putting her hand up to complain. I finally spoke to the teacher in person and emailed her and Ruby was moved. Her teacher knows few personal details about Ruby and was in fact, surprised to learn that Ruby has an older brother who attends the school. How messed up is that?
If I don’t like it…why don’t I pull them out? Homeschool or private school? I can afford neither one of those options at present as I actually have to work now. In any event, doing either one of those things would not fix public schools for all the other optionless families.
It makes me a bit sad that so far her experience isn’t shaping up to be that great. Part of it is that she really misses our little neighborhood school: she had her best friend since age two across the hall, and teachers who knew her long before she ever entered their classrooms. I don’t think any place will ever come close to her beloved and now idealized Texas Elementary.
I’m still miffed about the books thing though. I mean, what was she thinking when she asked if we had books in our home. Wait, maybe she wasn’t thinking. That makes more sense to me. Thankfully, all this “drama” has taken place mostly in my head, with a little told to my mom (who wasn’t angry enough for my liking, she was busy making phonecalls for Obama), and now some on the page. The kids aren’t aware of this at all, and I’m going to be hopeful that Ruby’s teach doesn’t treat her like some type of bookless ragamuffin (though bookless ragamuffins deserve equal education, whatever their parents might decide that is)…and that we make it through the year without other ridiculous comments that cause me to rant on my blog!
Next stop: First Grade!
So this school thing is actually work! Imagine that! After being thrown off almost a week due to an error made by the school, I am now playing catch up trying to get two weeks worth of work done before next Tuesday. I will probably be up till O Dark 30 Monday night getting it done, but s’ok. I work best under pressure. Some people pace themselves and do a bit at a time but why would I want to do that? That would make sense!
The kids’ school year is winding down and seems to be drama free, so I’m happy about that. It has gotten stupid Texas hot the past few days and so I spend my time indoors between sun-up and well, bedtime. If I must go out, I scurry from air conditioned car to air conditioned building and back. Like I’ve said before, I am a delicate flower, not made for heat. I had heat stroke last year, and even fainted from the heat as a child.
My kids are currently banned from taking out library books due to the whopping fine I recently had to pay for a lost book. It was either that or go to court as not paying fines is considered a misdemeanor here. I’m not kidding. I bet the library ban goes out the window once school lets out…or maybe remembering those fines will keep the ban in check.
Anyway, I have reading to do, so I better get to it!
I wrote this entry a few days ago and didn’t post it. The testing is now complete and the diagnosis is that ZB definitely has ADH/D. We go back soon for a more complete report. It’s not going to change much at home: I am not really bothered by his energy. I try to give him ways to expend it and work with it, but ultimately, it doesn’t bother me much. We’re going to do some behavioral therapy. Things will change things at school though. Do you know his teacher looked me in the eye and told me that the school will do nothing? That it is all medical? That is complete bullshit. I spoke to two friends, one used to work in Special Education (which ADD can be considered) in my school district, and the other has a son two years older than ZB in the same district. They gave me plenty of information about how to proceed.
Also, I am filing a complaint against his assistant principal for violating the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act last week. She discussed his past suspension with him in front of another student. I talk to my kids, I get details of their days. Did she think I wasn’t going to find out? I’m glad I have my salsa, who is super knowledgeable when it comes to all things public education. She’s the one who schooled me on FERPA, and she is going to make one fine teacher.
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My friend Tia sent me this link which is so timely and a little heartbreaking too. A little bit from the piece spoke to me:
“The eagle is the child who is turned into a troublemaker because he has his “own style” of doing things. While he is not doing anything “wrong”, his non-conforming is perceived as troublemaking, for which he is punished.” Ding, ding, ding, ladies and gentleman, I present to you, ZB.
I emailed her back and part of the email was about how I thought the stuff we have going on at school would never happen to me. I thought the parent that I am, the mother that I am, could protect him from this. No, our life is not perfect, but the education of my children is one of my top priorities and I just feel like I was so wrong about how I thought that education would happen. We are in the process of becoming statistics. A little black boy who can’t settle down in class and gets a label. But, that’s as far as it goes. My kid is a good student, and a good person. He is kind, outgoing, fun-loving and yes, sometimes a pita. But that doesn’t give Assy P the right to threaten him with suspension for “defiance”b/c he talked during storytime and has trouble standing on line.
On Friday, he will have ADHD testing. Even though I initially cried bs, I have now come to strongly believe that ZB may have ADHD. He seems absolutely incapable of doing things that his peers and siblings can do with ease or just a little prodding. He can not talk and stand still at the same time. He can not sit at a desk for even short periods of time working silently. He can not resist the urge to work ahead of his classmates. He can not clean his room without me sitting there giving him specific directions one thing at a time. About the only things he can do uninterrupted or passive activities like watching tv or playing video games. And those are things I limit.
My brother, who exhibited the same traits as a child was nicknamed “Tigger” and “jumping bean”. I would classify ZB as Tiggerx5. It doesn’t bother me most of the time, the constant energy and movement. I think it’s fine. Run around in circles till you fall down, if that’s what makes you happy and you’re not hurting yourself or anyone else. But in order to attend school, ZB must do thinks that he just can’t right now. He wants to, I can see it in his face when he comes out of school, knowing that his teacher is about to talk to me about his behavior. That bit really eats away at his self esteem which really breaks my heart b/c he is such a fun loving, light hearted child. He sees the school counselor (who was his first grade teacher) as needed. At least once a week, there is a written report that he “can’t sit still and follow directions”. This school year has been a nightmare, and I can’t wait for it to be over.
This morning I have already: